Can’t we just be?
cos I’m tired.
People used to have skills and hobbies and jobs. Now people just have skills and jobs and… more jobs.
I am people. Except that I don’t have a job, but that’s not the point. Yet.
Whenever I tell someone I sing or play the guitar, after the customary “oh wow, that’s cool,” the next question is almost always:
“So… what are you doing with it?”
Uhm, I’m making myself happy?
I remember a conversation with someone I was meeting for the first time and when he asked what I did for fun, I told him and he went on and said “Do you know you could go for shows and get paid” and I just smiled sheepishly because, yes, I knew. I tried to brush it off by saying it was just something I was doing for fun and maybe I’ll look into that later. But this guy kept insisting and he was telling me that he could introduce me to people that had events… and I just kept folding inside.
Now don’t get me wrong, money is good. I like money I like what money can do. I wish I had tons of it and the guy from before? He definitely had good intentions and I don’t blame him at all. The country is in such a hot mess that everything has become a hustle. Every talent is now a potential income stream, every hobby must justify its existence financially, nothing should be done casually and somewhere along the line, hobbies disappeared.
You don’t think it’s true? Okay, when was the last time you genuinely did something, just because you enjoy it?
You enjoy baking, but can you still bake cookies without calculating how much a box would cost if you sold them?
You enjoy doing makeup, but can you still do it without thinking:
“I could actually build a brand with this.”
When was the last time you took pictures without thinking: “I really need to become consistent with content creation.”
And if you’ve had none of those thoughts, it means you still have a hobby and wow, you’re actually very cool.
So… when will you monetize it?
(I’m joking. Mostly.)
These days, the pressure doesn’t even come from outside anymore. Nobody has to ask; you can be halfway through doing something you genuinely enjoy and suddenly your brain interrupts with: “You should be doing more.” And just like that, the fun becomes work.
Why can’t we just be?
I already know the answer but I’m just tired. I miss the feeling of enjoying something without pressure to be uncasual about it. I think we shouldn’t always be productive. Sometimes, we just need to be.
A counter argument may be:
“If you don’t monetize, how will you grow?”
First, I don’t think pressure is the only thing that creates growth. Curiosity can. Joy can. Love for the thing itself can too. Then second and most importantly, it’s a hobby for a reason! Something you do in your leisure, for pleasure. The keyword is not growth, it’s pleasure. For ease. To relax. Again, we shouldn’t always be productive. Or actively productive, if you will.
For a year, after I graduated, I learned sewing as a hobby. Not as a business plan. Not as a side hustle. I learned because I kept seeing beautiful dresses on Pinterest and wanted to recreate them for myself.
I’m just a girl.
And honestly? I loved it. I loved learning. I loved seeing an idea come together under my hands. I loved making dresses for myself and feeling proud of them. But recently — sadly or not sadly, depending on how you look at it — the idea of monetizing has been in the talks and out of it even. I got my first client, a few days ago (if we’re not counting my mum and my sisters.)
While cutting the fabric, I made a mistake and I didn’t even notice until I started sewing. When I realized, I crashed out. I rolled around on my bed and couldn’t sleep the entire night. I kept trying to salvage it for hours and eventually, I figured something out. But the entire experience changed something for me because suddenly, the thing I used to enjoy, felt heavy.
Tedious.
Distasteful.
And for the first time since I started sewing, I thought: “I don’t think I can do this.” Not because I couldn’t sew but because I was overwhelmed by the pressure of performing well. Something that once brought me joy became something I feared getting wrong. And maybe this is just adulthood. Maybe this is survival. Especially here, where inflation is breathing down everybody’s neck and every skill feels too valuable to “waste”. And I understand that reality but I still think we deserve things that belong only to us.
Things we do badly, sometimes.
Things we do slowly.
Things we do for joy.
Things untouched by performance.
But because it’s almost impossible for sewing to continue being a hobby, I’ll always try to remind myself why I started in the first place: to recreate beautiful Pinterest dresses, not optimize myself into exhaustion. And if you’re like me whose hobby has been hijacked by "the hustle," I’ve been looking for things that are intentionally hard to monetize, delightfully useless, so you can still feel human. Here are a few:
Coloring: The idea of doing this one already sounds fun. You could get a cheap tracing/coloring book and some crayons. Don’t worry about the shading or the aesthetic. Just put color on paper like you’re five years old again.
Games: I remember when I got a phone for the first time, I was always downloading games to the extent that I was searching for the one that Game Shakers created for their school project, Sky whale 😭. Now the only game I have is Candy Crush (I’m guessing it was our cool aunties that introduced us all to that one). Download that game today, Temple run, Subway Surfers, Sudoku, Word cookies. Anything!
Strolling: Not fitness walking to burn calories or anything. Just moving your legs because you can and you need to see something other than a screen.
Swimming: Honestly, this is on my wishlist, but it’s tricky. I don’t have or know anyone that has a private pool and the atrocities I’ve heard about public ones are too real. There’s no fun in trading my health for fun but if you have access to a clean, private pool, take a dive. It’s a life skill, and I’ll get to it when I can.
Rewatching Shows: Am I weird for this? I long to rewatch all the kdrama’s I’ve watched, especially the ones from way back. I’ve rewatched some of them already and it’s nothing really except comfortable and nostalgic. I totally recommend.
The Wikipedia Rabbit Hole: Spend three hours reading about the history of buttons or why some islands have too many rabbits. It’s “useless” information that makes you feel alive.
Reading my thoughts: This one’s a low-stakes hobby, I promise. No pressure to perform, just us hanging out in this little corner of the internet.
Anyway, wish me luck. She still hasn’t tried the dress yet.
Is there any hobby you’d want to suggest I try?