It’s the last day of the year and it’s 1:38pm here. I’m not sure how I feel but I certainly was not expecting to be here, on earth. I’d committed suicide several times during the year (in my head). And I’ve died at heart a couple times. But here I am, making dinner for the family. The previous year had me questioning a lot of things about different things and the fact that I just graduated college was not helping - the waiting period was excruciatingly numb. And you know how it is in a typical african household - worse.
In January, I remember the excitement of graduation( a first class is no small feat, at least that’s what I was told) even though I didn’t attend the ceremony. But I was so happy to have been finally over with that phase of life and hopeful and expectant for what was next.
February was no different, I was still living in the excitement of graduation. The pressure wasn’t there until March, the senate list was taking so much time to be released and staying home was frustrating. So I tried other things, many other things that were halted when imposter syndrome came visiting (which was always).
3:20pm
There were rejections, some so painful. But to my surprise, I lived survived.
5:27pm
Now that I think back, I’m grateful. Even though I spent the whole the year escaping depression, I’m so grateful that I did not totally lose myself. I’m grateful that things didn’t go exactly as I planned. If it had, I prolly wouldn’t have met the beautiful people I was supposed to meet and I definitely would’ve never had any self reflective moment. I’m more grateful for and to my family and I look forward to spending more time with them. I’m grateful for the acquaintances I made this year too and all that I’ve learned from them. I’m grateful for the many authors I fell in love with, for the books I’ve read. I’m grateful for the beautiful songs that I discovered and for what music does to me. I’m also grateful to God for not abandoning me. I’m still learning to trust him but it’s totally worth it. This year, I’m letting him take the wheel.
6:30pm
In 2025, there’ll be a lot going on in my life and I want to be sure that there’ll always be a tap out session, hence, substack.
If you’re still here, here’s a little present. (It’s a very beautiful song I discovered in 2024. I hope you like it)❤️
Happy new year, friend ❤️
Happy New Year✨
Rooting for you in 2025🤭